I Want to Know What Love Is

This morning in my sunday school class, we were talking about love. Specifically God's love towards us. And I began to try and understand just how great God's love for us is... let me tell you, that is pretty difficult. So, I started somewhere that I can understand and worked from there.
I have six people that I would call my best friends, they are amazing and wonderful, and I love them more than anything else in this world. They could never do anything to change how much I love them, and I am not planning on ever stopping loving them. But, one day, I am going to meet someone that I am going to marry, and I am going to love him so much more than I love those six friends, which is already crazy to think about for me. Even beyond that, I will have a kid one day, that I will love even immensely more than my husband. We are already to the point of unfathomable for me. And God's love goes beyond even that. I just have to sit here in amazement at how perfect that is. I mean, what?! I don't even understand how that is possible, but it is true. God love's immensely more than we could ever believe or ever fathom. I really love the song Good Father by Housefires, part of the chorus say "I am loved by You and that's who I am", that's our defining factor, we are love by Christ. And it should be, a love that powerful should be what overtakes us and pours out of us so unstoppably that others cannot help but see only Him. People should never have to question whether or not we are filled with the love of Christ, because if we are, it should be undeniable.
I had several other things that I was going to put in this post, but I have gotten approximately 12 hours of sleep total in the past week and I cannot remember anything right now, or say anything right, so I am going to get some sleep and then add post scripts to this as they come to mind.
Sleep well darlings.

Clumsy

Chris Rice

Clumsy

You think I'd have it down by now
Been practicin' for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin' here, yeah
Reachin' out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me, what's a boy supposed to do?

I get so clumsy, I get so foolish, I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You're sayin' You love me and You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me 'cause You're makin' me holy
Still makin' me holy, yeah

I'm gonna get it right this time
I'll be strong and I'll make You proud
Prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down again
You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You're not gonna let that come between us

'Cos I get so clumsy, I can get so foolish, I can get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You're sayin' You love me and You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me 'cause You're makin' me holy
Still makin' me holy, yeah

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus

'Cos I get so clumsy, and I get so foolish, I can get so stupid sometimes
And then I feel so useless
But You're sayin' You love me and You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me 'cause You're makin' me holy

I get so clumsy, and I get so foolish, I can get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You're sayin' You love me and You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me 'cause You're makin' me holy
You're still makin' me holy, keep makin' me holy, yeah

I really love the way he says it in this song, and I'm not really sure that I can add anything to it, except for maybe my own experience. 

I mess up. Like a lot. You would think that after all of this practice at following Christ, I would have that down, it should come as easily as breathing. But it doesn't. I really love the way that he says "reaching out for that same old price of forbidden fruit" because every part of that is me, it's always the same things that trip me up over and over again. I think that I get in a really good place and then I turn around and there it is again, what ever has been bringing me down. I get stupid and foolish and feel useless, but then something changes. And it amazes me that even when I am messing up, God is still bombarding me with love. He is saying He loves me, and He is still going to hold me, and that He wants to be near me (what? That's incredible, because the majority of the time I don't even want to be near me) all because He is still making me holy. Even in the midst of my sin, He wants to shape me into a perfect child of His.