Never Felt More Secure Knowing Your Heart Lord

I found out at noon today that I was deferred from Georgia Tech. But really, today wasn’t so bad. Up until today, I was really worried about finding out, because I was at a rehearsal with a lot of people who don’t know me very well, and I didn’t want to either get really excited or be really upset in front of them, but I ended up that that was the perfect place for me to be today. I found out as lunch began, and I had some really great people who all gave me hugs and encouragement, even when I just stood there staring at the page for ten minutes. Another good thing about being at rehearsal was that I only got about twenty minutes to be sad, and then I had to get things done and had to be around a bunch of people, which was good, because I would not have dealt with it quite as well if I had sat at home alone all afternoon, or even worse, with my parents.

            Another good thing about being at rehearsal was the lovely two-hour drive that I got all alone to get back home. (Every bit of that was sarcastic.) I hate being alone, I love people and I want to be around them all of the time. Being around people is my favorite thing, and it always makes me happy. So, I don’t like being alone, and I don’t like it even more when I am sad. But, the nice thing about having this 24/7 God of ours is that we never really have to be alone. So, today I would like to walk you through the ways God spoke through my worship playlist on my way home.

1.     Song of Moses by Housefires

This is one of my favorite songs. Scripture talks about two songs that we will sing in heaven: one is “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.” And the other is Moses’s Song. The lyrics go like this:

“Oh praise the Lord, our Mighty Warrior

Praise the Lord, the Glorious One

By His hand we stand in victory

By His name we overcome”

But it wasn’t any part of the original song that got to me, it was a part at the end when the singer abandoned the lyrics and just sang what was on his heart. And God was speaking through him answers to everything I had been thinking for the past few hours: every fear, every insecurity, and every thought of God lacking goodness. He sang:

“It is finished

Any doubt about my future is finished.

Any thought that I don’t love myself, it’s finished.

Any thought that You’re not that good is finished.”

Just as I had been thinking that I wouldn’t go where I wanted to, that I wasn’t good enough, and that He wasn’t really being good to me; He answered everything.

2.     Never Been So Free by Housefires

The second line of this song is “I have never been so secure knowing Your heart Lord.” And that was exactly how I felt as God began answering my questioning this afternoon. He has a plan, and I am secure in it. This was about the time that I began seeing that He had pretty good timing with these song choices, and maybe that He has pretty good timing with other things too.

3.     Messiah by Phil Wickham

I got to the middle of this song just as I was starting to worry, and thus cry, just because of the way the day had gone. There then came a line that talked about how there will be no more tears or sadness in heaven, and that was all that was needed to pull me back together.

4.     Wedding Day by The City Harmonic

This song didn’t really say anything specific, but it is a song that I love, and I think God just wanted to give me a breather with all of this revelation.

5.     Rise by Housefires (I’m noticing a partner here)

This song came on as I was driving through Atlanta, the sun had only just set, and the sky was a perfect blue and the clouds were a perfect pink, and the skyline was lit and beautiful. I said out loud, “I love this city”, during the intro to this song, and then the first words were “love will never fail”. So, wow, that happened, and it was cool. And over and over again God kept showing me that His timing is perfect.

6.     Great is the Lord by Housefires

This song came on while I was still driving through the city, and it got to the end when everyone has been singing, “You are holy, You are holy, You are holy, crowned with wonder, Majesty.” And then they stopped signing that but the music continued, and it felt really right to be singing, “You are holy” alone, in that city.

7.     Divine Romance by Phil Wickham

I think this was a little bit take-a-breather-because-this-has-been-intense and a little bit I-love-you-and-you-need-to-stop-questioning-that.

8.     Multiplied by NEEDTOBREATH

This song has been stuck in my head for a few weeks, because it was the background song for the recap video for my church’s Peru trip last year, and I think I have watched this video at least once everyday for the past few weeks. (You can find the video here: http://jfbcperu.typepad.com scroll down, it’s the second video.)I am going on this trip this year, and this song was just a reminder that God is doing things for me now so that I can share His love with the people of Peru later. (As I went back to watch this video as I wrote, I noticed the verse Maddie talked about: Romans 8:28)

9.     It Is Well With My Soul by Phil Wickham

If you don’t know the story of this hymn, the man that wrote it lost his four daughters on a ship that sank while traveling. When he followed to meet his wife, the ship he was on passed near where his family’s ship had sunk, while looking at the grave of his daughters he wrote, “It is well, it is well, with my soul”. It was amazing how God brought this story to my mind

10. Let the Peace by Housefires

This song came on right as I was pulling into my neighborhood and really worrying about what was going to happen when I walk through the door and had to see my parents. I didn’t want to disappoint them, and I didn’t want to cry in front of them, but both of those seemed like pretty likely possibilities at the time. Then this song came on, and I only heard the first line, but I did “let the peace of the Holy Spirit fall around” me. And everything was ok. (If you were wondering, this song is 3 minutes and 21 seconds of “let the peace of the Holy Spirit fall around you”)

God has perfect timing and a perfect plan. When I sat down to write this post, I wanted to open up my playlist on my phone to reference while I was writing. However, my phone decided to freeze up just as I was getting to the playlist. Because of that I pulled up Spotify on my computer, and when you do that you can see a live feed of what your friends are listening to, and in the time it has taken me to write this, several secular songs have popped up on my feed in just the right order for God to tell me one more thing: “Do you not realize? I am your protector. I have possession of your heart.” If I had gotten accepted today, I wouldn’t have listened to this playlist or learned anything from it or written this post from which, hopefully, you are learning something. We serve a God who controls the universe; all of this is in His hands.

Post Script. Housefires is the name of the band that plays at the new church I have been attending where God told me that He is doing things in Atlanta and He wants me to be a part of them. I still think that that is what He wants for my next step, but He is doing it on His time.