Forgetfulness. It happens to all of us. But, what
better time to remember than the night before a very important final? I
have to do pretty well on my Physics exam tomorrow, and I don't plan on it. Oh
well, I suppose it will be ok. I suppose.
After getting back a couple of college acceptances,
and after putting way too much thought into my "advice for
underclassmen" for my senior bio, I have been thinking a lot about what I
would have done differently if I could go back to freshman year (thank God that
I don't have to). So, here are some things I would change or tell myself if it
were the first day of freshman year all over again.
1. Going to dances isn't as important as you
think it is. The fun of going to a dance is really dressing up and hanging
out with your friends. Going to a play, or out to a nice dinner, or just taking
pictures are all equally as fun and significantly less expensive than actually
going to a dance. Once you get to a dance (especially with a date) is a lot of
being tired, and wishing your dress was more comfortable, or feeling awkward
because you just want to party with your friends, not try and find your date
for that last awkward Taylor Swift slow dance. Few people actually remember of
anyone being or not begin at the dance aside form those in their group and on
the court anyway. No one will miss you (and I mean that as a good thing). You
won't be judged for not attending a dance because you would rather do something
else, and the only way people would know is from Instagram photos, and believe
me, they will probably just be happy for the one non-dance picture posted from
that night.
2. High school is not as big as it seems.
When you are a freshman on your first day of school, it seems like the absolute
most important thing is what everyone inside those four walls thinks of you.
I'd like to tell you a secret: my school campus takes up roughly
0.000000000051579% of the Earth's surface. If that doesn't put things into
perspective, maybe this will: there are about 430 people currently enrolled in
the high school, there are a little more than 7 billion people in the world.
That means that there are millions of other places to see and billions of other
people to meet out there who do not go to your high school, and do not care
that you don't look great in your uniform. Stop worrying so much about what
everyone thinks of you, and start just begin yourself; you will have a lot less
stress and a lot more fun. As John McLaughlin correctly stated, "Be cool,
be hot, be weird, it's just four years"
3. You do not need a boyfriend to get you
through high school. You just don't. No matter how many times my mother
tried to shove the idea that "it's fun to just date in high school"
down my throat, I never quite took it to heart, and, honestly, I'm glad that I
didn't. Don't worry about the boys who you don't really want to date in high
school. There is a lot to be said about the fun of just hanging out with the
people you actually care about, so enjoy them, and don't mess up true
friendships with dating high school. Looking at it now, the chances of actually
marrying your high school sweetheart are pretty slim, and while those stories
are cute and what you think you want, I hate to burst your bubble, but you most
likely won't be one of them, and however high school relationships end, they
tend to hurt. I'm not saying that if you want to have a close guy while you're
here that the worst is going to happen to you, but if you don't have a date
every Friday, don't flip out, it will be ok.
4. Just one more thing on how small high school is:
the friendship selection is small, so you may have to go out of your comfort
zone. I believe that there are two main factors in strong friendships: 1. Similar
interests and 2. Compatible personalities. Chances are that in a small high
school like mine, you are only going to find one of those features in any given
person at your school. This means that you either have to put up with the
people who have similar interests to yours, but drive you crazy; or you will
have to try new things and be enthusiastic about things that bore you in order
to be friends with the people whose personalities fit yours perfectly. For
example: one of my closest friends and I have personalities that some how
click, despite the fact that our interests could not be more opposite, right
down to the colleges we choose to apply to... seriously, we each applied to
three schools, and everyone of them had a state rivalry with the school on the
other person's list. But all the same, she and I are really close; she might
actually be the person who knows the most about my life. But for our friendship
to stay strong, sometimes I have to show interest in cheerleading, and she has
to show interest in softball. And some people are just like that. All of that
to say a few different things: 1. Don't write people off just because you don't
share the same interests, they may become one of your best friends. 2. Don't
write people off just because they can get on your nerves, because they might
share the same obsession with that extremely obscure thing that you love. And
3. When you find people who share your interests and have a compatible
personality, hold them tight and don't let them go. If you can have full
conversations in quotes from The Office, and can trade Harry Potter conspiracy
theories back and forth, and they don't drive you crazy; these are the people
that will stick with you for all four years.
5. Work hard in your classes, but don't forget
to have a good balance. I can't lie to you; you should work hard to make
good grades. If you will make good grades early in high school, then you are
set up to get into whatever college that you want to go to. Even if you only
want to go to an easy to get into community college down the road, you may
change your mind in later years. But, at the same time, don't spend all of your
time sitting at home studying, and don't have a break down if you didn't get
the grade you wanted or forgot your homework. I was the worst about that last
one freshman year, I would feel physically ill at the thought of having
forgotten homework, even if there wasn't homework to forget, the mere thought
of it freaked me out. If you forget a homework assignment, most teachers will
let you turn it in late, while they may take a few points off, they probably
won't give you a zero. Keep calm, it will be fine. Find a good balance of
working on school and having fun. Don't be afraid to take some time off
studying to go and try on hats at Target, or eat at Waffle House after a
football game. Go out and do things, have fun while your parents are still
paying for it.
6. Try new things. Try clubs and groups and
sports and anything that you can fit into your schedule. The worst that can
happen is that you don't enjoy something and you know not to do it next year.
Plus, begin in any club or organization for even on year looks good to most
colleges. Being part of groups or clubs or teams lets you get to know new
people that you would not have otherwise, and it lets you meet upperclassmen,
who, for the most part, will want to help you and get to know you and have fun
with you. I really loved getting to know the senior girls on the softball team
my freshman year, and I equally love the freshman girls on the team this year.
When you are willing to try new things you are letting people know that you are
available to make friendships, and some of the unexpected ones are the best.
Try a new sport; even if you sit the bench, you will have some fun. Try out for
a show, if you're in the ensemble, you can spend a lot of your time at
rehearsals just hanging out with the cast, and theaters kids are always really
fun. Join a service club, it gives you the opportunity to help others in the
community, and you might find that you really enjoy it (and the world needs
more people who enjoy helping others). Join the yearbook staff, you may find
that you have a back for photography or for writing, and when you get to the
end of the stressful year, you get a real physical book to hold and hundreds of
other people get to see what you made.
7. Get to know your teachers. This is a
lot easier to do in high school than it will be in college, your classes are
small and you only have 7 teachers. Get to class before the second before the
bell rings, and ask them how their day has been, or what you can do to help set
up for class. In my eyes at least, there is nothing wrong with being nice to
teachers, and if your grade is an 89.4 at the end of the semester, they will be
more inclined to give you a boost if you have been getting to know them all the
while, rather than asking for a point being the first time you speak to them
outside of class. (That situation is also helped if you do all your homework
and any extra refit offered, so that they see you really care about their
class).
8. Find one good place to cry and one good
teacher to go to. This is geared more towards the girls. It will come one
day; whether it is because the girl in the hallway gave you a nasty look, or a
teacher won't help you after you have been trying to get ahold of them all week,
you will feel the tears start to fill up behind your eyelids, are crying in the
bathroom is just not comforting. Try and find one teacher who will let you cry
in their room if you need to (preferably one of keeps tissues in their room).
It is an important resource, because I have met few people who have not at one
time needed to cry at school. It just happens.
9. This is the last one, and it's one everyone has
heard before, but I would like for you to know the reasons that I have for it. Be
yourself. The urge to change how you act and what you like is overwhelming
in high school, especially freshman year. But, to be honest, the friends that
you make by changing yourself won't be the people you have fun with anyway.
They won't share your interest or your personality. They will just be random
people who like they like you, but if they really knew you, might not be so
friendly. I'm not saying that these are bad people, but they just wouldn't be
naturally drawn to you, nor you to them. You won't share things the way you
would with true friends. And true friends are important in high school; it can
get lonely without them. So be you, make some true friends, and treasure them.
That's the best thing that I can think of to tell you.
This has been an exceptionally long post, and I
apologize for that, but I would like to leave you with one last thing: some of
the lyrics from John McLaughlin's Four Year, it's a really good song that I an
so glad I heard before my first day of freshman year.
"Maybe you're in or you're out, but in the end
when all of your hats are in the air, no body is going to care, so fair the
wait, freshman hold on, it's only four years long."
Freshman, it flies by, you don't believe me now, but it really does seem
like only a few days ago that I was worried about finding classes and what my
teachers would think of me; and now I'm getting letters back from my dream
schools and I'm worrying about how far away from my friends I will be. So, hold
on, high school is hard, but it will be ok.
